there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
