is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
