I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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