It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize