good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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