The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
