I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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