It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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