3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
