is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
