hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize