I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
