Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
