Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
