So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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