hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
MIDGETS
????
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
