i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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