Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
