Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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