we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
