I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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