Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
