She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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