I wish i was in the wii world.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize