I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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