thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
