i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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