I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
