My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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