we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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