She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
