You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
