Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
