how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
