Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize