Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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