i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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