Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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