you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
