"it" just moved
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
