Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
40s are totally the cure
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
