don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
