Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
