you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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