Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
