where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
