If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he puts the penis in happiness.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
