So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We got so high we made milksteak
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
cat food counts as protein by the way
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
