i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
