the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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