You're so nebulous sometimes
She's JV to your varsity
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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