Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
