I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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