Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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