You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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