first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Damn victory sex feels great
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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