Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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