Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
