I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The air taste purple.
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